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Thread: Advice to the (soon to be) Newlywed!

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    netsirk's Avatar
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    Default Advice to the (soon to be) Newlywed!

    OK...since a lot of you are married and have been for many years, I would like your advice. I am looking for advice about planning the wedding and how to keep the marriage fresh and unpredictable!

    *Please try to restrain yourselves and not give advice about what to do in the bedroom
    Trust me....I got that part covered

    So let the Advice and Tips begin!!!
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    1. Argue immediately when something happens, not a week later.

    2. Never take the other for granted - thank him for taking out the trash, for paying bills or taxes, for getting groceries, etc.

    3. If he's out of town and coming back, stay up til he gets home.

    4. Tip your babysitter well so you'll be able to go out more.

    5. Spend the majority of your money at the wedding on photos. It's the only part that really lasts. At the reception, have a basket of disposable cameras for your friends to use. You'll appreciate the many perspectives later.



    Carol

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    Good advice. Just a caution, be VERY, VERY careful when spending that money on the photographer.

    I have no wedding pictures. Our photographer was arrested a few weeks after our wedding. He was caught posing as a park ranger and molesting someone at bb-gun point. Then they found out he had been posing as a photographer for a big modeling agency and talking college girls into taking it all off. All his film was confiscated as evidence, and depite our best efforts, our wedding film was never found. TRUE STORY

    But boy, did he have a great portfolio.

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    OMG...thats crazy!

    Well luckily I have already booked the photograher
    He works with my fiance and I. He is a mechanical engineer by weekdays and he has his own photography business on the side on weekends...we got really lucky getting him! And he isn't charging us...he said its his wedding gift to us. so thats $2000 we don't have to spend....thank goodness!
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    Lizzy, that's horrible! Just horrible.

    Well, my wedding director gave me some good advice, in case everything went wrong at the last minute. She said, "To have a wedding here, you need a bride, a groom, and a minister. The rest is just gravy."

    Carol

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    Advice that's worked for me...

    - Never let the sun go down on your anger - work it out ASAP

    - Try to outdo each other with random acts of kindness

    Steve
    Steve (O.A.T.)

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    Very Good Advice....I am writing all this down
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    make sure you have a day or two a week for personal time... seriously... alot of couples that spend too much time together eventually divorce... sad but true...

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    Default marriage

    Netsirt, it certainly would be wonderful if we could offer you the perfect recipe here. I can only tell you a few things from my life. I've been divorced for 14 years, married for 19 + 3 before marriage. Simply stated, we grew apart. I've come to realize there are generally no bad marriages, just bad matches.

    Frist I have a saying I live by: You can lower your expectations, but never lower your own standards. I've made more mistakes in life by lowering my standards to try to make others "fit."

    Second, I wish I had educated myself more about who I am and what I would have been satisfied with. Ultimately, I read a book that helped me make the right decision and has prevented me from making another mistake. Irontically it was called, "Get Rid of Him."

    Sounds harsh, but the basis of the book was simply: "If you're with someone who does not empower YOU to be the best you can be, get rid of him (them)." Wonderful advise as far as I'm concerned.

    That goes for both parties. Whoever you are with should be promoting you to be your best and you should be doing the same toward your partner. If this is not happening , it's probably not a good match. Good luck!
    Dreams really do come true!

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    Default Re: marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by benzleasr
    Whoever you are with should be promoting you to be your best
    PERFECT. The best description of a good marriage I've ever read.

    There is an overwhelming sense of grace spending your life with somebody who believes in you, no matter how horrible your mistakes or how deep your doubts.

    Nicely put, Peg.

    Carol

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