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Thread: Too funny Not to share !!

  1. #1
    liviasmimi's Avatar
    liviasmimi is offline Keyboard Proficient TwelevePlus
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    Default Too funny Not to share !!

    Funny Test Answers - Mainly Science and Health

    When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

    For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

    For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

    For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

    For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat.

    We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

    If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

    There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

    Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

    A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

    To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

    South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

    To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

    Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

    Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

    * "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

    Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

    We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

    Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

    Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

    The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

    Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

    To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

    Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

    When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.

    It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

    When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

  2. #2
    Fart*blossom's Avatar
    Fart*blossom is offline Junior Twelever +1 Bronze Fart*blossom is an unknown quantity at this point
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    Thank you for sharing those!! I'm still laughing at the electric guitar one!!!!

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