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Thread: from Hallowthanksmas to Chrismukkah and everything inbetween

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    Default from Hallowthanksmas to Chrismukkah and everything inbetween

    Is it that time of year again? When I look at my children's wish list and say to myself "THEY WANT WHAT??

    Here are some fun things to view and hopefully some things to inspire a gift that is unexpected.

    I cannot wait to see what else Twelevers can come up with.

    In addition let's have a Tweleve Days of Christmas poem contest. Submit them on this thread and by this time next month I will pick a winner. Twollars to be awarded.


    Jean
    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    CORPORATE MEMO

    To: All Staff
    Date: December 1
    Subject: New "Twelve Days of Christmas" Policy

    The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

    Streamlining is due to the North Pole's loss of dominance in the season's gift distribution business. Home Shopping TV channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share. He and the Board could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.

    The reindeer downsizing was made possible through purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated. Reduction in the reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press (gas and solid waste).

    We're pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole!

    Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose get red, not from the cold, but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of the year when they are known to be under 'executive stress'.

    As for further restructuring, today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" music subsidiary:

    1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance;

    2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated;

    3) The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French;

    4) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;

    5) The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order;

    6) The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one;

    7) The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement;

    As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;

    9) Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps;

    10) Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year;

    11) Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line;

    Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

    Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), a decision is pending.

    Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

    Happy Holidays all!!
    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    Maybe we can all add to this....
    jump in peeps...i'll start



    On the First day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
    An eagle in an oak tree



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    For people shopping on Black Friday for Christmas here is a website that has the Black Friday ads to preview

    www.bfads.net

    On the left side, click on 'adscans' and it will give you a list of the stores they have ads for. Enjoy!
    Like Contests???
    Then check this out!
    http://tweleve.org/forumdisplay.php?...t&pp=20&page=1



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    On the Second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
    Two turkey chicks and
    An eagle in an oak tree

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    on the 3rd day of christmas my true love gave to me:

    3 barking dongs
    Two turkey chicks and
    An eagle in an oak tree
    www.etsy.com/shop/DazeDesigns
    ((((((((twelevepeeps)))))))))

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    lmao holli!
    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    This thread is a good place to park this photo! Loved it, as I've been ironing linen napkins for two days and desperately needed a laugh re: the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
    Last edited by spiderman; 08-30-2010 at 03:32 AM.

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    LOL! Great picture, spidey! Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
    Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!

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