Moscow, I love a good joke. OK, I just love jokes. They don't always have to hit with the average audience; the more obscure the better for me.
Here are two of my favorites, from Readers Digest, Sept 2005:
I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go because I've put on like 100 pounds.
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?"
"Nothing. She's just having contractions."