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Thread: A Journey

  1. #11771
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    (HT - I will go back and review your video)

    "Michael's Thread", April 20 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    A,

    Okay.

    I cannot remember how much if any of this I have posted before, so I apologise in advance for any repetition. I also apologise for the fact that I am going to have to post this in a number of different sections due to its length. I will try to be as succinct as possible, leaving out any details which, although they might add colour to the writing, are supplemental to the main theme.

    In 1993, at the age of 32, I voluntarily admited myself into a rehab centre for treatment of a longstanding problem that had troubled me since childhood.

    During the coure of my 11 week stay at the facility I was afforded the rare opportunity of hearing the life stories of many different people from all manner of different backgrounds, straight from the horses mouth a it were. During the course of listening to them, I became aware of a common thread running through the stories. Virtually all, almost without exception, made reference to a feeling, which was variously described as a feeling of " a gnawing emptiness", a " Black Hole", a "Void", or simply a sense of there being "something missing" at the centre of their being. This was an experience that I too shared.

    Although on the surface it appeared that we were all suffering from different problems - alcohol addiction, drug adiction, depression, anorexia, gambling addiction, overeating, bipolar disorder, delusional disorder, multiple personality disorder, etc the existence of this common thread running through our stories, suggested to me the idea that all our different problems were simply different manifestations of a more fundamental underlying problem - that could only be identified by this feeling of there being" something missing".

    If I ever was lucky enough to discover what this something was that was missing in my life, the existence of the common thread running through our stories, suggested that this "something" might also help relieve the suffering of a great many others also. I recognised that if I ever discovered what the something was that filled the void within me, I would have a duty to make sure that others became aware of it.

    Five years later in 1998 I had an experience that led me to an understanding of what the something was that filled the void. It was to be yet another ten years before I was able to put that understanding into words.

    More to come.

    M

    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    About a week before Easter 1998, I had a dream that took place on a seaside pier.

    "On the right hand side of the pier near the end sicking out into sea, there is a girl in a yellow strapless sundress, sitting on the railings staring out across the sparkling sunlit sea. Approaching the girl from the near end of the pier is a male figure that appears only in silhouette since he is backlit against the sun. The man approaches the girl and then stops in front of her.

    I feel that the girl has been sitting in the same spot for ever waiting for this figure to come along. The two embrace and kiss each other. The moment that they embrace, the whole scene dissolves into an inky black whirlpool and I am caught in its current. As hard as I try to fight against the current the whirlppol pulls me down inexorably into the central vortex and I disappear into its murky depths.

    The next thing I know I find myself floating in an inky black endless void, like space but with out any stars. I recognise this experience as a repeat of an experience that I had as child. I wake up."

    Upon waking from this dream I had a strange knowing feeling that I was going to "die" that following Friday, Good Friday. I also realised that the experince of floating in the inky black void that I had as a child, had left me traumatised, and that as much as I was afraid to do so, I needed to reconfront that beast.

    On Good Friday then I scheduled a therapy appointment so that I could go back and reconfront this beast in at least some kind of safe environment. I had my best friend along for moral support. I was close to "s*^$@ ing" myself. As irrational as it felt I honestly thought I was really going to physically die!

    Anyway I went into the session and I said that I needed to reconfront this experience that I had had as a child of floating in the black void. I close my eyes and instantly found myself floating back in the inky black void.

    When I had had this experience as a child, it was during the course of a dream. In that dream Isee myself floating in the void and I wonder whether I am dead or not. I try calling out to see if anyone can hear me, but no sound comes out of my mouth.I then reach out with my hands to see if I have body. When I do this i discover that I do not have a body. With this, the realisation hits me that i must be dead and I am gripped with unimaginable teror. I am going to be like this for eternity - all alone in this inky black void with no help of ever being rescued from it. The terror is unimaginable. I wake up. For the next few nights whenever I closed my eyes to go to sleeep I would immediately find myself back in the black void. After about a week of this i was able to get to slepp and all memory of the experince retreated into my subconscious until it was reawakened by the dream I had the week before Easter, 1998.

    Anway, now I am back in the therpist's office. As I close my eyes my therapist and friend can see how terrified I am. They tell me that they will come into the void with me. I tell them that I do not want them to since they will die also. I hear them say to me that that shows a lot of love. As they say these words to me, my reality is that of the dream world in which I see myself - the inky black void without a body. I hear the words about being "loving" and I suddenly become aware of the fact that I am aware. I have demonstrated love.If I am aware, I must exist on some level. In my dream world existence however I do not exist - I have no physical body, no brain. I have no physical existence, and yet I am aware. What is it then is the agent of my awareness? There is nothing else there. I am in a void. There is nothing. And then it hits me.The agent of my awareness is the void. I - the subject/ agent of my awareness/consciousness - is the void. I am nothing. The agent of my awareness is the void in which I am floating. It is the beast that I have been running from all my life.

    This experince instantaneously leaves with a feeeling a peace. Later I realise that this experince represents a "death" of my old self. It is a spiritual death. It is the death of the idea that my "self" - the agent of myawareness- can be equated with my physical being.

    Moe to come
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  2. #11772
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    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    A,

    With respect to your question about whether my friend and therapist would have been able to join me in the void, the answer is yes with hindsight. This was the dream world where anything is possible.The only limitation is my imagination. The fact that I interpreted the words of my therapist within the context of the dream world, tells me that I had allowed them join me even though I not see them and was not consciously aware of having allowed them to join me.Even though they inhabited a world that was outside of the dream world that I inhabited, they were still, paradoxically, a part of it.

    In response to your question about the childhood experience the answer is again yes most definitely. That childhood experience of the void was triggered by something that happened during the course of my waking life, and although it caused me a great deal of pain during the course of growing up, with hindsight I look upon it as a great gift and the key that led to these later experinces. Without it I doubt that I would ever have had these experinces.

    M

    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    One of the most imposrtant lessons that I learnt from my Easter time void experience was that my fear that I would physically die if I reentered that void, resulted from mistaking my COGNITIVE UNDERSTANDING of the self with the thing itself. It was my cognitive understnding of the self that died not the actual physical body.

    The experience that I underwent can be visualised using the image of a the glyph for the sun/gold - i.e. a circle with a dot a its centre. In theconventional understanding of the self, the self can be imagined as being equated with the dot at the centre of the circle looking outward towards the external world symbolised by the surrounding circumference. In the experience that I had, a quantum leap took place and instead of identifying the self with the dot at the centre, I found myself identifying with the surrounding circumference, representing the external world, looking in towards the dot at the centre. The experince was akin to experiencing my self as being identified with all creation.

    Judging by what I have read in books and what I have heard from people directly, many people have had experinces similar to the experience that I had at Easter time. From what I have gathered however most think that this is the be all and end all of the enlightenemnt experience. As I have said before however, I look upon stopping at this point, as only travelling around the Mobius loop only once. To experience full enlightenement one needs to go around the loop again to arrive back at ones starting point.

    I came to realise that self-knowledge (Gnothi Seauton) can be envisioned as a reflexive process. From the point of view of identifying the self with the dot at the centre of the circle self knowledge can be envisaged as an outward movement from centre to circumference, arriving at the understanding that the self is identical with all creation - the circumference. Once this is recognised, the self then adopted another point of view and identified itself with the circumference. Once it had adopted this point of view it then saw that it's original point of view was valid also and that it is in fact nothing. i.e the subject relative to objective thought is the equivalent of nothing. This movement then can be envisioned as inward movement toward the centre. The net result is that self knowledge can be envisaged as a reflexive - inward and ouward movement.The self is both everything and nothing at the same time depending on the point of viwe from which one is looking at it.

    To think that the transformational experince of experincing the shift from identifying with dot at the centre of the circle to the circumference is all there is to enlightenement is to fall into the trap again of mistaking the map for the territory. It represents a shift in COGNITIVE UNDERSTANDING of the nature of the self. It does not represent a shift in physical reality. To effect a shift in physical reality one needs to go around the loop again.This means reconfronting the void yet again. This time around however it hopefully won't be as frightening because we know in advance that the void is only the representation of the subject/ self as appears in objective thought. It does not represent physical reality.To achieve full enlightenemnt one needs to equate onself both with the circumference and the dot at the centre at the same time.

    What this means in practise is for the external world to know and treat you as part of itself, and for you to know and treat it it as part of your self, both at the same time.

    This however still represents only a cognitive understanding. If it really is correct then it should be reflected in the physical world. It predicts that upon arrival at this understandig and making it manifest in the physical world, the external world should come forward and mutually recognise you, the nothing/subject at the centre of the circle and the all encompassing external world united as a unity. The actual act of understanding it and putting it onto paper acts as the bridge between the dot at the centre and the external world represented by the circumference of the circle, and as such acts as the catalyst for this reciprocal recognition to take place.

    This then represents the most basic, simplistic understanding of the Coincidence of Opposites. Writing an actual explanation of the Coincidence of Opposites represents the completion of the understanding of what the Coincidence of Opposites is. This is why arriving at an explanation of The Coincidence of Opposites has always proved so elusive.The explanation of the Theory completes the circle. It represents the joining together of the two ends of the Mobius loop. It is when the snake finally catches up with its tail.

    There is far more to go into, namely an explanation of why it constitutes a Theory of Everything, what it's implications are, how it can be reconciled with logic, etc. There are a million questions. I will go into these questions in forthcoming posts.


    More to come
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

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    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    Black shoe polish... wow..
    we're at Applebee's and here's where we were seated..
    Recall the recent Jachin and Boaz..

    https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8RC...p=docslist_api
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyThoth View Post
    Black shoe polish... wow..
    we're at Applebee's and here's where we were seated..
    Recall the recent Jachin and Boaz..

    https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8RC...p=docslist_api
    HT

    Thanks much for that. About 20 minutes ago (15 minutes before your post) I was pondering the line in Fenn's poem " If you are brave and in the wood" and was dwelling on the "OO" in wOOd re James Bond.
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyThoth View Post
    Black shoe polish... wow..
    we're at Applebee's and here's where we were seated..
    Recall the recent Jachin and Boaz..

    https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8RC...p=docslist_api
    heh.. can't leave out Charlie's Angels!
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    HT

    Thanks much for that. About 20 minutes ago (15 minutes before your post) I was pondering the line in Fenn's poem " If you are brave and in the wood" and was dwelling on the "OO" in wOOd re James Bond.
    (Wiki Archive April 13 Casino Royale) Casino Royale

    ---

    Did you know...

    ... ... that the Solitaires were booked to play at the Paramount with Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper in 1959?...
    (buddy holly was mentioned to me just last night)
    ----

    for me, there's quite a focus on James Bond and the "Solitary Man"...(both buddy holly and neil diamond were mentioned to me just last night)
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    .
    Thank you very much for pulling these up for me Astree.. I appreciate it/you
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    michaelr had such a breadth of knowledge and a solid lions grip of understanding it.. yet to me, he seemed so "defeated" in his last posts here.. i don't understand why... did I mis-perceive this?
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    OCT 13th MARANATHA INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

    [18:54] <APPRENTICE> During the last chat I asked about your statement in an Australian interview about an “artifact” in a museum that was over 500 years old. You mentioned that the part about the museum was a misquote, but I forgot to ask you if the “over 500 years old” statement was accurate. Is the “artifact” over 500 years old?
    [18:56] <cthree> (lastofthefew on deck)
    [18:56] <sacred_prize> Sorry your cut and paste came through a bit wierd. I'll try and answer what I think you mean.
    [18:56] <cthree> maybe "what about the museum quote was a mistake"
    [18:57] <APPRENTICE> I am just asking if the "artifact"is older than 500 years.
    [18:58] <sacred_prize> The misquote was about me using an artifact in London. The artifact is just under 500 years old, but it is not the only or major artifact.

    Does anyone have any ideas about the identity of these artifacts? I've come across number different artifacts in the course of working on this, as I am sure most of you have, but I am at a loss to understand how to tell whether any of these are the artifacts referred to by Duncan in the above interview.

    I have found artifacts some of which are greater than 500 years old and some of which are under 500 years old. "Just under 500 years old" seems an impossibly vague criteria for trying to establish whether any of the artifacts that one finds are the artifact referred to by Duncan.

    The latest artifact I have stumbled upon, is somewhat less than 500 years old, but whether 'somewhat' is the same as "just" there seems no way to tell, and whether it is relevant to the puzzle or not or just another red herring, again I haven't a clue.

    Any ideas about the artifact anyone?

    M

    M
    strange.. the number 1500 has popped up to me several times this week..
    To enter a temple constructed wholly of invariable geometric proportions is to enter an abode of eternal truth

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