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Thread: Michael's Thread

  1. #2501
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    Horse Drain, No Slop ?

    or

    HORSE ODOR IN PLANS
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  2. #2502
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    (just saw this after making the post)

    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  3. #2503
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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    Horse Drain, No Slop ?

    or

    HORSE ODOR IN PLANS
    A,

    Just had to wipe the tears of laughter out of my eyes.

    The thought (Horse odor in plans) has crossed my mind a number of times, but that was not what I had on my mind this time around!

    I was thinking along the line of a beautiful juDGment.

    M

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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    (just saw this after making the post)

    A,

    Nice sync!

    Just like home was on some days!

    M

  5. #2505
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    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    (just saw this after making the post)

    A,

    Nice sync!

    Just like home was on some days!

    M
    So Id say, and so I see

    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  6. #2506
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    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    ..
    I do not consider myself irrational, although I am fully aware that to many in the outside world that is how I appear. My quest has been to find the bridge that transcends that dichotomy. To many in the outside world this is taken as evidence of my irrationality since they take it for granted that opposites like irrational and rational cannot be reconciled.They believe that you have to be either one or the other.

    By taking as one's starting point the idea that all all conflict is due to the preconcived idea that opposites are irreconcilable, and concluding that all conflict could be resolved if opposites were reconcilable, the logical course of action to me, seems to be to try to understand how to reconcile opposites.I do not understand how or why people think this idea is irrational.

    Given the momentous implications of success in such a quest, it is a mystery to me why everybody is not engaged on this quest. ..
    This is intriguing M. I know that you have addressed this theme several times in the past, but is there anything you would care to add?

    Thanks,
    astree
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  7. #2507
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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by michaelr View Post
    ..
    I do not consider myself irrational, although I am fully aware that to many in the outside world that is how I appear. My quest has been to find the bridge that transcends that dichotomy. To many in the outside world this is taken as evidence of my irrationality since they take it for granted that opposites like irrational and rational cannot be reconciled.They believe that you have to be either one or the other.

    By taking as one's starting point the idea that all all conflict is due to the preconcived idea that opposites are irreconcilable, and concluding that all conflict could be resolved if opposites were reconcilable, the logical course of action to me, seems to be to try to understand how to reconcile opposites.I do not understand how or why people think this idea is irrational.

    Given the momentous implications of success in such a quest, it is a mystery to me why everybody is not engaged on this quest. ..
    This is intriguing M. I know that you have addressed this theme several times in the past, but is there anything you would care to add?

    Thanks,
    astree
    A,

    There is a lot I could add. What in particular were you thinking of? An explanation of how opposites are reconciled ?

    M

  8. #2508
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    The "how" sounds interesting. Thank-you.
    Free is the best deal!

    "The Scarlet Cloud Approaches"
    "Time is of ten a one-way street"
    ..........Go 5 X 5..........

  9. #2509
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    Quote Originally Posted by astreeturover View Post
    The "how" sounds interesting. Thank-you.
    A,

    Okay.

    I cannot remember how much if any of this I have posted before, so I apologise in advance for any repetition. I also apologise for the fact that I am going to have to post this in a number of different sections due to its length. I will try to be as succinct as possible, leaving out any details which, although they might add colour to the writing, are supplemental to the main theme.

    In 1993, at the age of 32, I voluntarily admited myself into a rehab centre for treatment of a longstanding problem that had troubled me since childhood.

    During the coure of my 11 week stay at the facility I was afforded the rare opportunity of hearing the life stories of many different people from all manner of different backgrounds, straight from the horses mouth a it were. During the course of listening to them, I became aware of a common thread running through the stories. Virtually all, almost without exception, made reference to a feeling, which was variously described as a feeling of " a gnawing emptiness", a " Black Hole", a "Void", or simply a sense of there being "something missing" at the centre of their being. This was an experience that I too shared.

    Although on the surface it appeared that we were all suffering from different problems - alcohol addiction, drug adiction, depression, anorexia, gambling addiction, overeating, bipolar disorder, delusional disorder, multiple personality disorder, etc the existence of this common thread running through our stories, suggested to me the idea that all our different problems were simply different manifestations of a more fundamental underlying problem - that could only be identified by this feeling of there being" something missing".

    If I ever was lucky enough to discover what this something was that was missing in my life, the existence of the common thread running through our stories, suggested that this "something" might also help relieve the suffering of a great many others also. I recognised that if I ever discovered what the something was that filled the void within me, I would have a duty to make sure that others became aware of it.

    Five years later in 1998 I had an experience that led me to an understanding of what the something was that filled the void. It was to be yet another ten years before I was able to put that understanding into words.

    More to come.

    M

  10. #2510
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    About a week before Easter 1998, I had a dream that took place on a seaside pier.

    "On the right hand side of the pier near the end sicking out into sea, there is a girl in a yellow strapless sundress, sitting on the railings staring out across the sparkling sunlit sea. Approaching the girl from the near end of the pier is a male figure that appears only in silhouette since he is backlit against the sun. The man approaches the girl and then stops in front of her.

    I feel that the girl has been sitting in the same spot for ever waiting for this figure to come along. The two embrace and kiss each other. The moment that they embrace, the whole scene dissolves into an inky black whirlpool and I am caught in its current. As hard as I try to fight against the current the whirlppol pulls me down inexorably into the central vortex and I disappear into its murky depths.

    The next thing I know I find myself floating in an inky black endless void, like space but with out any stars. I recognise this experience as a repeat of an experience that I had as child. I wake up."

    Upon waking from this dream I had a strange knowing feeling that I was going to "die" that following Friday, Good Friday. I also realised that the experince of floating in the inky black void that I had as a child, had left me traumatised, and that as much as I was afraid to do so, I needed to reconfront that beast.

    On Good Friday then I scheduled a therapy appointment so that I could go back and reconfront this beast in at least some kind of safe environment. I had my best friend along for moral support. I was close to "s*^$@ ing" myself. As irrational as it felt I honestly thought I was really going to physically die!

    Anyway I went into the session and I said that I needed to reconfront this experience that I had had as a child of floating in the black void. I close my eyes and instantly found myself floating back in the inky black void.

    When I had had this experience as a child, it was during the course of a dream. In that dream Isee myself floating in the void and I wonder whether I am dead or not. I try calling out to see if anyone can hear me, but no sound comes out of my mouth.I then reach out with my hands to see if I have body. When I do this i discover that I do not have a body. With this, the realisation hits me that i must be dead and I am gripped with unimaginable teror. I am going to be like this for eternity - all alone in this inky black void with no help of ever being rescued from it. The terror is unimaginable. I wake up. For the next few nights whenever I closed my eyes to go to sleeep I would immediately find myself back in the black void. After about a week of this i was able to get to slepp and all memory of the experince retreated into my subconscious until it was reawakened by the dream I had the week before Easter, 1998.

    Anway, now I am back in the therpist's office. As I close my eyes my therapist and friend can see how terrified I am. They tell me that they will come into the void with me. I tell them that I do not want them to since they will die also. I hear them say to me that that shows a lot of love. As they say these words to me, my reality is that of the dream world in which I see myself - the inky black void without a body. I hear the words about being "loving" and I suddenly become aware of the fact that I am aware. I have demonstrated love.If I am aware, I must exist on some level. In my dream world existence however I do not exist - I have no physical body, no brain. I have no physical existence, and yet I am aware. What is it then is the agent of my awareness? There is nothing else there. I am in a void. There is nothing. And then it hits me.The agent of my awareness is the void. I - the subject/ agent of my awareness/consciousness - is the void. I am nothing. The agent of my awareness is the void in which I am floating. It is the beast that I have been running from all my life.

    This experince instantaneously leaves with a feeeling a peace. Later I realise that this experince represents a "death" of my old self. It is a spiritual death. It is the death of the idea that my "self" - the agent of myawareness- can be equated with my physical being.

    Moe to come

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