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Thread: Poems for kids

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    Default Poems for kids

    Over the last 48 hours I've written 20 poems for children.
    And I've completed about 10 illustrations.
    My plan is to publish on lulu.com, get an ISBN, do a publicity blitz, and edge my way out of advertising which sucks the life out of me.

    Here are the poems.

    Find a little kid and read some.
    Make funny noises.
    Have a blast.

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    Default Foolscap and folderol!

    “Foolscap and folderol!” cried five-year-old Fannie.

    “I beg your pardon, hon?” said her Granny.
    “Why can’t you just speak like normal girls do?”

    “Because I’m flippant with flimflam, and full of flair, too!
    I’m fantabulously flighty, fitfully fleet.
    I’ve got fidgety fingers and fancy-free feet.
    I’m fancifully foolish and fearfully fast.
    I’m a flibbertibet with a flirtatious past.
    I flail in a foofaraw, then flinch and flee.
    Plus, I’ve read all the F’s in the dictionary.
    So I won’t speak like others,” said five-year-old Fannie.

    “Yes, but finish your flapjacks, Fan,” said her Granny.

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    Default Why’s farting so bad?

    Why’s farting so bad? I wanted to know.
    It’s just a piff! poof! from way down below.

    But if I pass gas or I cut the cheese,
    Everyone says, “Oh, NO! Marty, PLEEEASE!”

    Well, let them have their grown-up troubles!
    I’ll wait for bathtime to blow some bubbles.
    Attached Images

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    Default Starfish starfish

    Starfish, starfish, pink in sun.
    You’re a beauty, oh pretty one,

    But far more star than fish, I see.
    I’ll put you back and let you be.

    Starfish, starfish, shine for me.
    Ocean’s your sky. Night is your sea.

    I guess it’s fine and not your fault:
    Your smooch tastes very much like salt.

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    Default Something fun

    “Can I glue balloons on Muffins the cat?”
    “You cannot,” Mom said, “and that is that.”

    “Can I bake cakes with ketchup and slime?”
    “Please,” Mom said, “this just isn’t the time.”

    “Can I tape pennies all over my brother?”
    “I’M ON THE PHONE!” said my mother.

    “I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN!”
    I bellowed and cried.

    “She’s climbing the walls,”
    Mom said on the phone.
    So I tried.
    Attached Images

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    Default The Turtlecow

    If you were a turtle,
    I’d paint your shell.

    If I were a cow,
    You’d ding my bell.

    But if I were a turtlecow,
    I’d moo! MOO! moo! and teach you how.
    I’d give you milk all mixed with sand.
    I’d sleep in water but live on land.
    I’d use my udder for a rudder.
    I’d make you deep-sea bluefish butter.
    I’d bring you seagrass growing green.

    I’d be the best turtlecow you’ve never seen!

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    Default Peas get pods

    Peas get pods but fleep get sheece.
    Spoons get soup but gonds get peese.
    Baths get bubbles for kirty dids.
    Leaves catch light for daty kids.
    The world gets wise. The shun gets siny.
    Bears get big but tice get miny.
    Fish get fins but fleals get sippery.
    Some get same, but slothers get ippery.

    I’m glad I’m not a fleep or fleal or poose,
    So you get me and I get youse.

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    Default Jumpin’ Jason Jehosophat

    Jumpin’ Jason Jehosophat
    Loved to eat
    And that was that.

    He ate his aunt.
    He ate his mother.
    He ate his sister.
    (But left his brother.)
    He ate his yard
    Then ate his car.
    He ate half the moon
    And bit the dog star.
    He nibbled some trees
    And snacked on towns.
    He went to the circus
    And swallowed the clown.
    He went to Boston
    And gobbled their beans.
    He went to college
    And wolfed down the deans.
    He grew so fat,
    So plump and chunky,
    His face became
    Kinda funky.
    He felt sick
    And kinda queasy.
    He burped a burp
    So powerfully breezy,
    With such horrendous clout
    I hate to tell you
    His head turned—

    inside out.

    Jumpin’ Jason Jehosophat
    Loved to eat.
    And that was that.

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    Default My dog Lizzie

    My dog Lizzie was best of best.
    She slept in my closet and made a nest.
    She rolled in snow and romped in streams.
    She squeaked and growled in rabbit dreams.
    She snuck some donuts and stole some cheese.
    She hated baths and once had fleas.
    “Cheer up,” you said, “we’ll get a cat.”
    But I loved Lizzie much more than that.

    Say what you like ‘bout all the rest.
    My dog Lizzie was best of best.

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    Default Blunder-grumble-brash

    “Blunder-grumble-brash,” said the horrible storm.
    But I was cozy and snug and dry and warm.
    “You can flash and crash and rumble and more.
    Shake and shiver your smashes like war.
    Pelt your rain and boom your thunder.
    But I’ll hop in bed and snuggle under.”
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