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Thread: Seis! Upon a Time Artistic Contest

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    spiderman's Avatar
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    Default Seis! Upon a Time Artistic Contest

    In just the past few days, I've had several people say almost the exact same thing to me, about me. It's definitely caused me pause. Because we have so much new talent in the creative corner, I decided to use some of my banked twollars to host a new contest in hopes that your responses will help me think through what was said.

    This is a contest with three parts, each for 500 twollars. All participants will get 50T just for entering. If you haven't participated in one of my contests before, here are a few tips to score you bonus T:

    Raw, naked, honest emotion is a must.
    Make me think. Don't spoon feed me your answers.
    A variety of mediums for this contest will be favored.
    Support your fellow contestants.
    In lieu of talent, humor is my preferred substitute.

    Part One:
    We all put up defenses for some reason or another. Write, in the form of your choosing, about a time when someone snaked their way through your emotional wall. I'm curious to know what sort of risks you took in the relationship, and what, if anything, was the return.

    Part Two:
    Convey in any artistic manner you choose: love.

    Part Three:
    Now that you've shown me that you'll endure the heartaches of love (lol), show me where you'd take somebody on a date. Time, space, responsibility, and money are no object. What would you do for somebody you really care about? Where would you take them? Would you buy them a gift? Play certain music? Wear certain clothes?

    These submissions can be in any form. This is your chance to show me your creativity, and a big chance to earn some extra T.

    I want you to know what your tasks are before we start, but I want us to do each part separately. So, I am now taking entries for Part One.

    Cheers to all of you with bursting hearts!
    Carol

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    ^.0 HEHE

    this will take some thought ...or alot of time to write..so im gonna think how i wanna say it
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    ((((((((twelevepeeps)))))))))

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    Default the long, lazy contest

    You'll notice I posted no deadlines.

    Glad to have another contestant, Holli, especially one that's as thoughtful as you. MPowers has also expressed interest, and also wants some time to think this through.

    Anybody else care to join in?

    Carol

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    I'll give it a twirl.

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    i'm in. i gave it the needed thought, i know how i will answer, i wrote it out. i need to tweak it. sometime in between dogs, more dogs, and a much needed nap

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    I'm pondering.
    I caught you a delicious bass.


    My Resolution to Write:
    http://bradywrites.blogspot.com

    National Poetry Month!:
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    http://tinyurl.com/nationalPoetry

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    (well, it turned out i only needed to delete one word.)

    It was so easy to get caught up in the pain. The fear. The doubt. I had the horses. I had the cats. I had the dogs. I had the hamster. I had no need for people. People caused confusion and pain.

    I woke up with my dog and my cat and got dressed to go to the stable and see my horse. I came home from the stable and was greeted by my dog and my cat. I watched my hamster climb through the tunnels of his habitrail cage system.

    I watched TV, I listened to music, I read.

    I was so very alone. I was so very tired of being alone. When I had a good training day with my horse, when my dog won his first obedience trial, when my dog totally blew the agility course but we had a blast anyway, when my horse got sick, when I got sick. I had no one to share it all with. I had no one to tell. I had no one to celebrate and laugh and cry with. I was so very alone.

    The walls came down. I let one person in. Not a good choice. I got so very hurt. The walls went back up. I was so very alone.

    I can't tell you when or where or who. I can tell you that I got tired of the pain and I got tired of being alone. I mostly got tired of being happy alone. I wanted to share my successes. I wanted to laugh with others. I wanted to hear about other people's good days and crazy adventures.

    The walls are gone now. The walls are staying gone.

    Without the walls, I can see the world. I can enjoy the world. I am no longer fenced in by my creation. I am no longer afraid to hurt, because hurt is such an important feeling. The hurt and the pain makes the happy that much happier.

    The relationship wasn't any one person. It is a relationship between me and the world around me and me and my inner self.

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    50T to Corgi, and another 50T for jumping in and going first. I'm a sucker for bravery.

    Great job!

    Carol

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    Default Seis

    Carol

    I'm in (smiles)

    Ray
    Being and nothingness are illusions. Rollo May

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    Default Re: Seis! Upon a Time Artistic Contest

    Quote Originally Posted by spiderman
     

    Part One:
    We all put up defenses for some reason or another.  Write, in the form of your choosing, about a time when someone snaked their way through your emotional wall.  I'm curious to know what sort of risks you took in the relationship, and what, if anything, was the return.

    Cheers to all of you with bursting hearts!
    Carol
    Self-discovery: My personal inner pain far outweighs any pain anyone could inflict on  me, so I try to shield others from it...

    Defenses against other people was never a problem for me. Let me begin at the beginning, with a story or two or three ....

    Pre-birth memories
    There was a darkness, and in it something moving with purpose and intention, and there was a sense of something else me, but there was no form to me - rather I was like everything, and yet not. There there was a pin point of light, and I was in that pin point of light. Surrounded by three kinds of darkness, the darkness I was familiar with was there "speaking" to me of things I do not remember in words I do not remember. A second kind of darkness was much lighter, and a third kind was me. Then, a feeling of being very small, and afterwards a feeling of being very large. My head was hitting a roof, a ceiling of some kind and I began to turn, downwards.

    I had heard very many voices before that turning and afterwards was told that when I looked at certain people, they became afraid, how did that child know me, we have never met? Some said I was an old soul - did they not know I had heard them speak?

    The Fall
    At about the age of three, I was out playing, with my four year brother. I had climbed a tree. Understand that even a tiny tree might loom large to a three year old. After a bit, I fell out that tree. I had a sense of floating, like with the first darkness, and looked down and saw me on the ground. Then, I was back, and brought back a vision (although I have told this story often - I am still unable to share this vision, so forgive me if I don't).

    Colors were brighter, more intense and vibrant - life in everything.

    Laughter
    School was horrible, I got laughed at so much (poor) - I would hide from people, not because I didn't want them in, but because I couldn't keep them out. I still can't. What I do is to give them reasons to stay away. Everyone had something precious about them, something I can not explain.

    Instruction on being a man
    I had two friends as a young teenager. One was true, the other was not.

    I read everything and anything I could get my hands on.

    I had met two men - one was married with a wife and two kids, he would invite me to go to bars on his nite out, and we would play pin-ball machines that paid you if you won. I remember once he won $500 on a game - it was intense, everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. The other man was an instructor at the YMCA - he got me into weight training and city wide competition. I won only once after walking on stage and people were snickering - I had the best developed back and lifted the highest total weight in my class. My weight trainer saw the pain, at the laughter, and simply smiled without comment when I had won.

    I worked at a strip club as a bouncer, once, and the ladies that danced there whom I met were the absolute  best women - they helped me with things, and would talk to me. They laughed lovingly at the way I talked. My boss would always send me to request that an unruly person leave, which they quickly did. I was so proud of myself (until I discovered that he had three huge guys follow me around, I rolled with laughter when I found out).

    She did not snake in she danced in

    I began creating strong defenses in college - when I first ran into negators. People who negate everything, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, you are never right or good enough unless you become like them. Unfortunately, almost every woman I met was like that, and the attacks on one's manhood (and by extension personhood) were almost constant. Fortunately, neither have never truly been a doubt for me. Mostly, I would smile, be polite, and distanced.

    One day my only true college friend and I (during summer session) had left the cafeteria in Boston, and were running through campus when a shoe came out of no where, barely missing me. We both stopped in shock ready for the fight, when out the dorm came a girl, so stunning (at least to me) I started to laugh (a defense mechanism of course). She smiled, said "oops" and ran back up the stairs. My friend and I went "Wha...?"

    That nite there was a party in the girls' dorm and having nothing to do at the time I went. I wore my ragged best. In the hall way she stood and cornered my simple me and began talking. All I could see where her arms, they were the smallest diameter arms I had ever seen. She was taking a French class, and I was taking Quantum Mechanics. I had taken a couple of years of french in college and had four years of it in high school (so I knew some stuff). We danced to the O'Jays, and she stepped in close, that was the thing contact brazen of course and bold without doubt, but she had sized me up correctly. I would never treat her badly.

    After the party we went to her room, and she told me about herself, showed me pictures of her home and family. I talked a bit about me. Later that summer we became close, and agreed on having a Platonic relationship. We spent a lot of time with my true college friend and his girlfriend. I had no problem with a Platonic Relationship - I had concluded by then that the only thing a man could or should control was himself, I had other things going on anyway.

    We dated for four years, and after two years the horrible negations began. Nothing I did was ever right, nor good enough. I didn't speak correctly, I didn't dress right, I never had any money, etc. She wanted to be free to be with other men. I was just a hick from some backward southern state, she was from a northern state where everyone was someone. Perhaps asking for her hand in marriage was a mistake, maybe it scared her - she did have plans for her future (which did not include me). Ok, I said, I don't own you. But can't we still be friends? I'll think about it she said. I went "Wha...?"

    There was no risk, (1) why not love someone who loves you? - isn't that easy. (2) when you can love and don't who loses? Think about those statements and the risks I took should be apparent.

    She remains a friend for over 20 years, my choice, and will always be a friend although she still practices negation, she may have danced in. But what she left was worth it, because the man continues to grow none-the-less (no ceiling yet).

    CHEERS

    Ray
    Being and nothingness are illusions. Rollo May

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