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Thread: Wanted: Gift Ideas

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    Default Wanted: Gift Ideas

    I probably should put this in the Blunt Chisel, but honestly, nobody there would respond with the same - dare I say it? - creativity you guys would, so I'm going to plop this right in the Creative Corner and hope for the best.

    I need gift ideas for a 45 year old man. Hey, hon, if you're reading this, LOOK! There's a naked swimsuit model in the front yard!

    *pause

    2

    3

    4

    Okay, he's gone for sure. So it's for my husband, ok? We've got all manner of events coming our way, and I am flat out of ideas. How many damn gifts do I have to think up for this guy in my lifetime, anyway? Isn't there always a point in a serious relationship where you cycle through the same stuff? It's really not fair when you think about it - birthday, anniversary, Christmas all in the same year? COME ON!

    I've taken an informal poll of like-aged men and so far all I've found out is that women all around the country must be completely foamin'-at-the-mouth-MAD because nobody of the male persuasion (gay or straight) can or will tell me what they really want. How hard can it be?

    "What do you want?"
    "Hmmm..."
    "GRRRRRRR."

    Now women can rattle off 412 ideas lickety split, and 411 of those will have some sort of special meaning attached to it. "Get him a spankin' new Brooks Bros dress shirt that has stripes the same color as the flowers in the bouquets that your bridesmaids carried..." (WTH? Do you know how many decades ago that was? Why would I want to bring THAT up?) The 412th idea had something to do with swimsuit models, and no matter how much I love the guy, I just ain't going there.

    I am here to ask, nay BEG, the people of the creative corner to surface just long enough to tell me what I might do for any of the aforementioned mandatory gift giving occasions. Tell me you want a tie, and the dude gets a tie. (He doesn't wear them, though, unless there's a funeral or some sort of um, hearing.) Tell me you want a new lens for your camera, and I'll start thumbing through the yuppie magazines to see what in the world you're talking about, and what I can do to make the extra money to afford something like that.

    So, WHAT IS IT? You know, the MAGIC IT? A Mont Blanc pen that costs more than our vintage minivan? A secret spa treatment to get rid of unwanted hair? Leather pants? Something I make? (For the love of God please don't make me cook!) A vacation to someplace warm? (trouble with that is that there isn't one square inch of me that still has a tan, and if we go to someplace in lower SC they might assume I'm some sort of haint lol)

    I don't care how busy you are. Do what you have to. Consult your magic 8 ball; go do payote with your guru; check your tarot cards. I need some serious help, and soon. They're playing Christmas music on two of our radio stations already. I'm really starting to freak out!

    Many thanks.

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    Default

    First.

    Breathe!!



    Here are a few things. Just remember who is giving you these!!!!


    Graphic Ice: Floating Pen Desk Set with Memo Pad Holder Teakwood Finish
    or
    A Spectrum of Promotional Products - *CLOSE-OUT* Intrigue Golf Design Floating Pen Desk Card Holder - FLP-G

    and how about

    Avon Shop - Products
    The Sharper Image® Mini Portable Camcorder
    they may be offering this @ $80.00 with a purchase soon.

    for something from the girls, there is that new card, prob from Hallmark that you can record their voices reading " The Night Before Christmas ". however I think a recorded comedic rendition would be fun.

    will keep thinking of stuff.
    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    Quote Originally Posted by j15bell View Post
    for something from the girls, there is that new card, prob from Hallmark that you can record their voices reading " The Night Before Christmas ". however I think a recorded comedic rendition would be fun.
    now! for some ideas on this idea..................
    Twas the Night Before Christmas at the Mall

    Twas the night before Christmas,
    and all through the mall,
    Not a creature was idle,
    shoppers least of all;

    The merchandise was placed in the windows with care,
    In hopes that great sale shoppers soon would be there.

    The parents were hoping to keep out of the red,
    While visions of tax returns danced in their heads;
    And Ma in her overcoat and Pa in his fleece,
    Headed to the mall despite a tight winter squeeze...................



    Twas a SC Christmas

    T'was the night before Christmas and all through the town,
    no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down,
    no children in flannels were tucked into bed,
    they all wore shorty pajamas instead.

    To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard,
    for holly trees grew in every back yard.
    In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
    adorning the bushes....................


    A Red Neck Christmas
    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the trailer
    Not a creature was stirrin' 'cept a redneck named Taylor.
    His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
    And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.
    His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
    And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

    That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.
    There was Rufus, 12 Jim Bob was 11
    Dud goin' on 10 Otis was 7.
    John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:
    The twins were both girls so they let them be.


    They jumped in their overalls, no need for a shirt,
    Threw a hat on each head, then turned with a jerk..............



    Twas The Night Before Christmas


    Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
    annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence,
    kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this
    potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus
    musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the
    wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure
    regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among
    whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

    The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
    accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual
    hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through
    their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head
    coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness
    when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended
    such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity
    from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source
    thereof.
    ***********************
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    There are three kinds of people : Those who can count and those that can't.




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    lolol See? Women can just rattle off ideas like it's nothing at all. You're the best, J15bell. The 'shorty pajamas' got me - I guess we all need to go get some now. Thank you!

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    Hi Spidey,

    I have several personal theories on this apparent gender difference:
    1. If men don't tell us what they really want, we spend lots of time thinking about them trying to figure it out.
    2. This increases the probability that we won't manage to get something they secretly covet, so that if they bomb on our gift, they're pretty much off the hook.
    3. If they really wanted it, they would buy it today, and not wait for the next occasion.
    If you suspect this is true for your household, I suggest wool socks. In SC, they'll probably end up in the back of the drawer with the tags still on, and you can give them again next year. I would suggest a ushanka, on the same theory, but he might remember that 12 months later.

    That aside, here's one suggestion for the perfect gift, but it might be a little pricey. There have been a number of versions, ala Bush Sr., Schwartzeneggar, and Obama, but I think you should have it done in your own likeness. : )

    science TV :: Solar Chariot - A crazy inventor decided to build a solar powered chariot, that\'s pulled by a robot-like machine with two working legs with roller blades for feet. He decided to give the robot a George Bush Sr. head.

    I think I have a secret craving for one of these myself, in my own spouse's image. Is that bad?

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    LOVE that chariot... I can totally see me in the carpool line, and I'm guessing I wouldn't have to put the sign with my kid's name on the dashboard, either.

    Lizzy, number three on your list is precisely what's giving me such a hard time. As one member in my random sample of Similarly-Aged-Men (SAM) said, "I can buy what I want. So I want a gift I don't know I want." (It is a miracle I did not slit my wrists right then and there.)

    Maybe they don't know that they want some diamond chandelier earrings? Or maybe that cute little candy red convertible... hmmm... things are taking shape, I do believe! Of course, if anybody else has anything to add, I'd appreciate it, seeing how I'm so open minded and all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by spiderman View Post
    Maybe they don't know that they want some diamond chandelier earrings? Or maybe that cute little candy red convertible... hmmm... things are taking shape, I do believe! Of course, if anybody else has anything to add, I'd appreciate it, seeing how I'm so open minded and all.

    This just reminded me of a story from some years ago (one of the kids involved has been our pediatric dentist for the last 7 years, so it has been a while). I was visiting one of my colleagues at his home, and his wife reminded him to change the litter for "his cat." That kind of surprised me, as he didn't seem quite the cat lover, and I expressed my surprise.

    Turns out, the cat was his birthday present the year before. He had turned down his kid's repeated requests for a cat, and wouldn't tell them what he wanted for his birthday. So they employed some creative problem solving. They not only ended up with a cat in the house, but his wife could have the joy of referring to it as "his cat" when there was work to be done. : ) And the nice part is, he did seem a little fond of said cat.

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    My guess is the cat has beautiful teeth, right? If he plays sudoku you can find a picture of him in the caption contest thread...

    No disrespect to my faithful femme friends, but I sure do wish the men would weigh in on this gift-giving topic.

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    S.A.M. says...



    Faux intestines? Check
    Lightsaber to cut into the belly of the beast? Check
    Warmth to last through those cold Hoth nights? Check

    ThinkGeek :: Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

    More appropriate for a 4/1 gift, perhaps.

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    Default Does he have a hobby?

    What does he like to do?

    sometimes down to earth basics like a gift card to go buy your favorite tool? always works for me.

    Maybe he has a favorite hobby that he can get something to indulge in.

    s

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