+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 62 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 54 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 616

Thread: The Esoteric Diaries

  1. #31
    stickinthemud is offline Junior Twelever +1 TwelevePlus
    Silver
    stickinthemud will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    234

    Default Introvert 11: Hanna's Tale

    Sis was sobbing very heavily, her breath was coming in behind deep gasps. Her eyes were half closed, as she continued her struggle to regain composure. Gradually, she became steadier and stronger. she was winding down, like an old grandfather clock in a foyer.

    She wiped her nose on my sleeve, and dried her eyes with the back of her hand, then leaned out the car window to spit. She took out the old photograph she had been holding and silently passed it to me. In the photograph was my mom - and she was very pregnant. Nearby, was a little curly headed boy, who seemed so sad, so completely unaware, and just barely out of focus, was a man, with a bit of effort I could see that that man was Dad. I searched my mind, I could not have missed Dad, I could not possibly have not remembered that. What was happening?

    Sis, saw my brow get crinkly, and said "Look at me - very closely". I did, and I saw nothing that I had when I first saw her. Looking at my face, she saw that the photograph had left my vision. Gently, she took it from my hand. Sis said, "My name is Hanna, do you remember Hanna?" "Yes, Hanna was my grandmother." Still, I was not underrstanding, perhaps, I never wanted to. Hanna, then began her tale....

    "Dad told me about the night he left, and how it tore him up inside. He told me how he tried to forget what was said, and how you looked when things got bad. He felt ashamed. He still does." But don't you see when Dad left that night, he did not take everything, he had left something behind - and dammit it wasn't you." Calmly like a therapist or something I asked "What did Dad leave behind?" Hanna's face momentarily showed anger as she said "It was me, mom was pregnant" What? I exclaimed. How? I never saw it".

    "Look at the damn photograph, mom was pregnant and you didn't see it?" Sis, screamed at me. "Dad, came when I was going to be delivered - he carried you to the car, don't you remember?" "What happened to you?"

    My mind was blank, I stammered "Dad, put you up to this didn't he, the old creep". "No" Hanna said, "You needed to hear this from me, first". "We have the same parents." Again, this time muted, almost as if a heavy weight had been removed, she continued. "I visited mom a lot, but you never saw me, so it was deceided that I would stay with Dad - I was there when you graduated from High School, look in your old Yearbook - second row, holding mom's hand." "I was at the hospital when you broke your leg in college." "Why wouldn't you let me love you?"

    Silence. There was no escape, and yet I still could not remember her. Nothing. I looked at her hands, and her eyes and looked again and again as if I were an Owl stuck in the same pattern. What do Owls look for when they look - food running to hide? Was I hungry? Is that what love is like?
    Being and nothingness are illusions. Rollo May

  2. #32
    hollidaze39's Avatar
    hollidaze39 is offline Community Guru TwelevePlus
    Benitoite
    hollidaze39 will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    New York!
    Posts
    5,035

    Default

    oh an amazing twist ray! i love this story!
    www.etsy.com/shop/DazeDesigns
    ((((((((twelevepeeps)))))))))

  3. #33
    12pm's Avatar
    12pm is offline Expert Twelever TwelevePlus
    Sapphire
    12pm will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,707

    Default

    Now Time in West Tisbury

    Forsythia, forsooth, has conjured gold
    From air too thin. And daffodils unfold
    Like parasols whose struts are light on wands
    Of green enigma. Sun slips its winter bonds.

    From rays, the buds wring leaf. All grass lets go,
    Like hair a lover loosens. Lilacs know
    The time is now. Their magic steals the show
    As spring, in theater wings, cues sticks to glow.

    Now wee balloon men tweezer out the bite
    Of splintered ice in skins from recent night.
    And yet despite the froth and frilly blooms,
    We may recall rehearsalís ungreen rooms.

    Beyond the stage assistantís play to get a laugh,
    Some seasonís last tricks sawed our hearts in half.

  4. #34
    spiderman's Avatar
    spiderman is offline Kidnapped... and all I got was this stupid user title. TwelevePlus
    Benitoite
    spiderman will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    5,464

    Default

    I liked that one very much, Paul.

  5. #35
    12pm's Avatar
    12pm is offline Expert Twelever TwelevePlus
    Sapphire
    12pm will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,707

    Default

    ty, Carol.

    Wasn't too sure of it myself.

  6. #36
    spiderman's Avatar
    spiderman is offline Kidnapped... and all I got was this stupid user title. TwelevePlus
    Benitoite
    spiderman will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    5,464

    Default

    I'm curious about your freshly adopted restrictive form?

  7. #37
    12pm's Avatar
    12pm is offline Expert Twelever TwelevePlus
    Sapphire
    12pm will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,707

    Default

    Just seems appropriately contrapuntal to the turbulent, chaotic life that runs through the words. Like banks to a river, doncha know. The discipline also seems useful in crafting better accessibility, and I'm enjoying the challenge of really rigorous forms.

  8. #38
    spiderman's Avatar
    spiderman is offline Kidnapped... and all I got was this stupid user title. TwelevePlus
    Benitoite
    spiderman will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    5,464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 12pm
    The discipline also seems useful in crafting better accessibility...
    ???

  9. #39
    12pm's Avatar
    12pm is offline Expert Twelever TwelevePlus
    Sapphire
    12pm will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    1,707

    Default

    E.B. White said "Be obscure clearly."

    I've attended a whole mess of poetry readings and poetry slams over the last few weeks, and I decided one of the pitfalls poets often fall into (myself included) is that they assume that more emotional and personal symbolism is accessible to all. Tragically, it's often not: at its worst it can take the form of opaque drivel or overly emotive self-indulgence. Somehow, by adhering to classic forms I feel like I'm fighting obscurity and upping accessibility. Maybe because it takes so much more thought and craft, for me, anyway, to write an effective villanelle, than a free form poem.

  10. #40
    spiderman's Avatar
    spiderman is offline Kidnapped... and all I got was this stupid user title. TwelevePlus
    Benitoite
    spiderman will become famous soon enough
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    5,464

    Default

    Thanks for the explanation, Paul.

    Is it really your responsibility as a poet to be accessible? I'd argue that you aren't cut like most, and that for you to be accessible to some/more/all readers, you'll likely cheapen your work. I'm not here for WalMart poetry; I want sophistication. Your life has changed, so your scope has broadened, allowing me to get new references from (not at all tragically!) the raw power in your overemotive indulgences. Be subtle and obscure; it's a delight for me to think it through.

    I'm sure it's personal preference, but the most recent post aside, you've actually lost me as a reader lately with the increased structure. The joy of poetry for me is approaching emotion from another writer's perspective. It's exactly because you use striking personal symbolism in free verse that your work fascinates me; your life is vastly different than mine, and the contrast is fertile ground for thought's small sprouts. Structure begs my focus on simply that, and I'm robbed of the joy of discovering the hidden bloom.

    Regardless, it's interesting to watch your evolution. Weave. Grow. Rhyme. I'm hooked.

    Carol

+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 62 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 54 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts